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The Last Song (a visual interpretation of a same sex abusive relationship)2 min read

https://youtu.be/IG2NJyQwzfw
Every artist has that song. The song that broke them to write. The song that breaks them to perform. 
 
The Last Song is that song for me.
 
I wrote it about 2 years ago with my friend Ari Rhodes and it has remained one of the most personal songs I’ve written. 
 
A decade ago, I found myself in a relationship that to this day, impacts me in a way that continues to have an affect on my life, my choices, and my self image. It wasn’t a long relationship, maybe 15 months max, but in that 15 months I completely lost touch of who I was because I was constantly made to believe that who I was would never be enough.
 
Theo, why do you always have to be so serious about everything?! 
 
And then when I wasn’t serious, why do you always have to be the centre of attention?
 
Theo, why can’t you just chill the hell out sometimes? You’re always so uptight!
 
But then when I let loose, I was a show off or a diva.
 
Theo, you really need to toughen up!
 
But then when I toughened up, apparently I wasn’t willing to be vulnerable.
 
It was 15 months of this emotional warfare. And for nearly 2 years after, I tried to win this personal back by trying to be everything they could ever want. 
 
The professional but still chill guy.
The confident show off but still vulnerable.
The logical guy but still a carefree diva.
 
It took 2 years (and therapy lol!) to realize that I was not the problem. I was never the problem. Sure, I have my weaknesses and my faults. We all do. But do not let anyone use your weaknesses or your faults to manipulate you into being something that you’re not.
 
I’m still learning that, but I trust it now more than ever.
 
After spending years and years trying to put all these thoughts into one single song, and failing miserably time and time again, I finally wrote it. It came out of me within the hour.
My hope is that anyone who may be in a similar situation can see that there is freedom on the other side. This is not about you, you have done nothing wrong, you are enough and you too, are strong enough to sing the last song. 
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